Re: Rides

(Before I begin I'd just like to say that I think that we should use xanga instead of blogger because I honestly believe there is no e-mail notification option, which is why I did not read your post until today.)

(Also, I read your xanga post earlier today, which I found quite interesting. Actually, I thought that it might contradict your previous post in here in a way, so I'm a little confused about how you feel right now. Either that xanga post is slightly, if any, related to our situation, or I must be going paranoid and trying to relate everything to it.)

I just want to let you know that I completely understand why all of the topics that you listed would caused a.) stress, b.) frustration, and c.) overall anger and irritation. Everything that you listed, from your perspective, would be very aggravating. In essence, the whole situation, which is recurring more times than should, is quite the pickle.

Yes, I totally agree that it is stressing to you and Molly that being able to secure a ride to and from school has so many under- and overlying problems, but I already spoke with Molly several times about it. There's no hard feelings, thankfully, and I've ascertained that she possesses no pent-up anger toward the situation or me.

On the other hand, you did (and probably, understandably, still do) contain anger/stress, as mentioned earlier. For that, I would like to apologize. It is my fault in not being able to handle the situation in a better way, I concur with your opinion on that matter. Sometimes, more often than not, I make mistakes in being able to handle certain situations. As do all people. I don't want to make excuses for any of my actions, and I also understand that I took for granted your time, which I also ask for your pardon for. I don't fully blame my father because I understand that that is how he is, and that logic does not always apply to everyone. Especially when it should.

In regards to your standing with Boram, I would like to mention that I never intended to force you or Boram into a situation where you two might bicker or argue. In fact, that is the sole purpose of why I volunteered to drive you and Molly. I know that not being able to be the driver now limits you to relying on Boram, and in a way that worries me but at the same time it also frustrates me that there is nothing to do about it also. One can only prayfor the best when there is nothing to be done.

And I furthermore agree with your statement about cherishing every moment left together in high school. As most of us are parting ways, that means every single time we hang out should be forever ingrained in our memory of high school and our friendships together. I don't want something to this degree to risk our friendship built over so many years. Though it may some insincere and trite, I have no other clear way of phrasing it. I'm sure you agree that you don't want to lose the friendships that are already at risk after graduation. I plan on keeping in touch with you, especially, so losing such a connection would be a grave loss.

There is one thing you mentioned that did spark my attention and that I disagree with. You mentioned that as a best friend you assumed that I would be able to do you/Molly a favor of this degree, which I partially understand. At the same time that statement seems to the belittle the fact that I tried to just that. Yet all people act differently when faced with different scenarios (obviously) and that I guess I did not act in the way that you expected me, or would have in the same situation. I know you said that you assumed and that is why this occurred, which is understandable. Yet is it also true that once you have concluded that someone has failed to meet up to what you thought they would that your trust in them drops? I'm taking a stab by saying this but if that is the case, then that also is another major loss on my part. I don't mean any of this, by the way, in a hostile tone. I sincerely wish to know, because I care about our friendship. I'm not sure if you feel exactly the same way as I do, as I know you and me often are on different wavelengths, but me, I don't want our friendship to suffer because of this. Do you?